It's been so long since I last looked at this page. The new year has obviously got a lot to do with this. Well, I was sort of cooped up last Christmas. There was no one to share the beach walks with me. Being alone entails its miseries too. Despite having all the freedom to act foolish, there was just no one to mess up with.
People have been quite nasty to me last year. I had lots of sorry memories too. There were some regrets (that included letting go) and some tearjerking moments while facing that damn phone which doesn't ring anymore. I missed being with some friends, quite happy that no one's messing with me and very alone.
Well, this year, I hope things would start to look better. I have lots of promises - all of them broken. I look forward to fixing them. I'm up to establishing life plans and goals after graduation this year and hopefully ( really hopefully) wishing I'd see him again. it's been a long time...
Things got out of hand after he had gone. I can't control anything - especially the agony of missing him. I still wish the teary nights would end. I have vertigo. I'm tired.
But then, if things do get better, I just wish it would be. No matter how hard I try, I'd never get over it. I'd need the will to stop. It would be difficult. But, I'll try to make things normal again.
My wish?
i wish for a new life. Something worth living for. I just need a reason to live, and love freely. I don't know if I could make it, but I'll start to give back.
Then will I know that I could be truly happy.
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