Why I quit extra-curricular activities

Sometimes, I think it would be better if I give myself time to rest. I've done much last semester and probably, it's better to give myself a time for change. I've neglected all responsibilities that they gave me this semester... and they're all asking me why?!

I'm just tired.

Does that answer the question?! I don't want any heated arguments with my parents anymore about my coming home late or about me neglecting my studies. (They don't really do that often) I want to spend TV time in my parents' crib, I want to read, text or probably go somewhere else without never having to worry about meetings, major activities or people looking for me. I'm still in school and I really want to make good use of my learning time here. I'm about to graduate next year (2010), and perhaps, I would want to learn something here that makes sense, instead of just writing letters and organizing excursions.

I also want to achieve something this semester. I'd like to (at least) finish off the rubix cube, beautify my blogs, eat ice cream and improve my GPA. My grades are just fine I just wanted improvement. That's all. I don't like to see another 3.54 again. I'm tired of it and I don't want to fail.

Well, I also want a stress-free life. Probably, I'm just craving for happiness that's why I wanted this. I hope they understand.

snooopin!

I should be at the high school building this time but here I am, punching the keys of this damn keyboard. I am bored. I admit it. What (the hell?) am I going to do with just 3 hours left of my precious time to think about myself? This evening, I would be pre-occupied of the SA (don't have a choice) and well, maybe have much time for my FS. I still don't have a topic for my thesis and it's due on sunday!!! Well, bloggers, its my mom's birthday on sunday and I don't even have time to attend to the party. I guess I'm just too tired to think things over and probably breathe fresh air.

Another thing, I'm terribly sick. I've been coughing for (like) 2 weeks now and I haven't even recovered yet. I wish I'd just crawl up to my bedand lie there thinking about...nothing. I'm too tired to work on my stuff. I wish I had more time.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

It just went away. I felt all alone as I'm trying to think of reasons why i couldn't reach him. Was his phone lost? stolen? Was his battery low? Why was he out of reach?! I started calling him since 10pm last night but I just couldn't reach him. I'm beginning to freak out. What if I'd never reach him again? DAMN! Why can't he see how much I need him right now? I wished i should just have dosed much on pills to make him worry for me. I wasn't turning cold! I was just letting him enjoy his friends' company. How I wish he'd care enough to leave me a comment on this.

I wish this isn't giving up. I've waited long enough to make this work. I'm not throwing it away just because they don't like him. Damn! Damn! Damn! I hope he realizes how much this means to me. I can't just give this up! Why can't he see that I need him more than anything else? Why would he try to end this?! He has to answer my call tonight if he doesn't want me dead. I'm so tired of this break-up stuff. I will grow up. He'll see!

The Last Time

This is the last time
that i'm ever giving in.

Sunday, Nov.9:

I sit here tapping my fingers trying to think of things I want to share. Probably, I just don't know what to think about. i want to cry. I've lost my only reason to smile.

I'll probably move on. i hope i can.