I've been thinking more like losing grip now. I've been through too much at these times and basically, I do want to relax. I wanted to get a grip on things that' been keeping me away from the world. I wanted to spend the last drop of money on omething that would make me happy. But this just has to stop.
I'm going to Davao next week. I need to get a grip on things and I want things to turn out well. I miss my life.
Me-unmasked
- kisses
- the underworld, Philippines
- I love sunsets, reading books, sleeping, listening to secondhand serenade, listening to Tigerlily, watching sunsets, drinking coke, messing with photoshop, daydreaming, perking up the class, internet cafes, beaches, cafes in davao, Coke floats in McdO, cappucino at Zagu, writing poems, fighting the people in charge, defending human rights, eating noodles, it when pipol smile back, francis kong and bob ong books, talking to people, doing things for others, annoying others, writing before going to sleep sleeping late, playin spider solitaire
Monday, December 15, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
One Special Gift
True Love can be in actions instead of words
By Ma. Glaiza Lee
(Manila Bulletin, November 28, 2008)
“How long have we been friends?”
That question broke the silence. He had been sitting in the sofa for the past hour or so. I couldn’t see him, but I felt his presence. I don’t know why or how, but I just knew when he was around.
He had not made any sound because he knew that it was forbidden to make any noise when I’m reading a book, especially now that I’m just learning how to read in Braille.
I am partially blind. My blindness wasn’t congenital. It was cause by an accident almost two years ago. My family and I were on our way to Baguio when a delivery truck hit our vehicle. The truck driver was drunk and he lost control of the steering wheel.
Splinters from the window shield pierced my eyes and damaged the cornea. We consulted several doctors, and they recommended a cornea transplant. Just a few days ago, we received some good news. My doctor found a donor whose eyes perfectly matched mine, and the operation was scheduled a week from now.
I turned my head to where Daniel was sitting. “What’s wrong with you? Lately, you’re becoming very mushy,” I joked.
I’d noticed it, but didn’t pay much attention. I was busy with school and the coming holidays. But, Daniel wasn’t himself these past few days. His voice was not its usual cheerful tone. He sounded exhausted.
These past weeks, he failed to fetch me after my classes ended, which was really unusual. Ever since we became friends, he hadn’t missed a day. We were friends ever since “we were conceived” as our parents put it.
I didn’t see it, but I knew he smiled at my joke. He sat beside me, and I felt him look me in the eyes as if I would be able to see his face.
“Elisha, if there will be a time when I won’t be there for you… it isn’t my intention,” he whispered. With a quizzical look, I ask him why he was telling me these things, but he didn’t answer and just hugged me tight.
***
A few days before Christmas, I was lying on the hospital bed, dressed in a hospital gown and getting psyched up for the operation. I had waited for this time, but I was so scared. My family and I were hoping the operation would go smoothly.
“I can’t wait to see your face again,” I told Daniel who was sitting by my bedside, holding my hand. Sometimes, he would squeeze it as if telling me that everything would be all right. He took my right hand, and brushed his lips on it.
“I can’t wait for you to see the world as I see it,” he whispered in my ears and dropped a kiss on my forehead before I was whisked to the operating room.
It had been a week since the operation. I was able to see again, all the colors, lights, shapes, and everything around me. It was like leaving the darkness which has enveloped me the past two years, and finally dwelling in the light again.
It was Christmas. Strangely, Daniel wasn’t around when I first opened my eyes after the operation. I asked my parents, even called his house, asking if they knew where he was. But they couldn’t give me a straight answer.
I couldn’t wait to see Daniel. Maybe, he was just preparing a surprise for me. It was typical of him to do that, I thought. And I couldn’t wait to see what it was.
When the doorbell rang, I was ecstatic. I was pretty sure it would be Daniel and his family. I kissed Daniel’s parents as they entered. I looked behind them to see Daniel, but he wasn’t with them.
I peeped outside the gate, maybe he was just around somewhere. But no, he was nowhere. I looked at his parents who were standing beside my parents at the patio. Why did it seem there was sadness in their eyes?
Before I could open my mouth to ask them where Daniel was, his mother handed me a gift wrapped in silver paper with a red ribbon. When I opened it, it revealed the cashmere dress I’d always wanted. Only Daniel knew about it.
A card fell when I pulled the dress from the box. My name was scribbled on the envelope. I knew that handwriting. It was Daniel’s.
“Dear Elisha,” the letter began. “If you are reading this, then I will be very happy because it means the operation was successful. I just wish I was there to witness it, and share that special moment with you. But I won’t be there. Not because I don’t want to, but because fate won’t permit it.
“Remember that summer we spent in Baguio? You looked very lovely in that pink dress and yet you were crying because you couldn’t go out and play in the rain. It pained me to see you crying so I did everything to stop you from crying and wipe the tears away. I promised from that day I would do everything to make you happy. I would protect you and shield you. No one and nothing would hurt you, if I could help it.
“We’ve known each other since we were born. And you’re my best friend. We’ve shared everything and anything. My days are not complete without seeing you. I’m always anticipating those cute smiles and I love hearing those hearty laughs. They brighten up my days. I always wanted to be the one to put those smiles on your face and be the reason why you laugh.
“Yes, Elisha, I’ve been in love with you since that summer…” Tears started to fall. I didn’t know. I have no idea. How could I not notice it?
Don’t blame yourself. I did everything to keep it a secret. Don’t get mad. I know we promised that we shouldn’t keep any secrets from each other. I’m afraid of rejection and that you might not feel the same way and soon, I would lose even our friendship. I couldn’t take that so I kept it.
“This was hard for me, not to be there to share the milestones of your life, hold you when you’re afraid and pick you up when you stumble. But my time is up. I can’t stay much longer, even if I want to.
“Three years ago, I was diagnosed with brain cancer. It was already on its final stage. The doctors couldn’t do anything. They gave me just a year to live. I lasted for another year because of you. The thought that I would leave you alone strengthened my will to survive, if not prolong my days.
But he was already calling me. He had given me much more than I hoped for. It’s time I go back to him, and stay with Him. This is not goodbye. This is just a temporary separation. We’ll see each other again… in another time and place. Take care of my eyes. I’m sure they look lovely on you… Love, Daniel.”
By Ma. Glaiza Lee
(Manila Bulletin, November 28, 2008)
“How long have we been friends?”
That question broke the silence. He had been sitting in the sofa for the past hour or so. I couldn’t see him, but I felt his presence. I don’t know why or how, but I just knew when he was around.
He had not made any sound because he knew that it was forbidden to make any noise when I’m reading a book, especially now that I’m just learning how to read in Braille.
I am partially blind. My blindness wasn’t congenital. It was cause by an accident almost two years ago. My family and I were on our way to Baguio when a delivery truck hit our vehicle. The truck driver was drunk and he lost control of the steering wheel.
Splinters from the window shield pierced my eyes and damaged the cornea. We consulted several doctors, and they recommended a cornea transplant. Just a few days ago, we received some good news. My doctor found a donor whose eyes perfectly matched mine, and the operation was scheduled a week from now.
I turned my head to where Daniel was sitting. “What’s wrong with you? Lately, you’re becoming very mushy,” I joked.
I’d noticed it, but didn’t pay much attention. I was busy with school and the coming holidays. But, Daniel wasn’t himself these past few days. His voice was not its usual cheerful tone. He sounded exhausted.
These past weeks, he failed to fetch me after my classes ended, which was really unusual. Ever since we became friends, he hadn’t missed a day. We were friends ever since “we were conceived” as our parents put it.
I didn’t see it, but I knew he smiled at my joke. He sat beside me, and I felt him look me in the eyes as if I would be able to see his face.
“Elisha, if there will be a time when I won’t be there for you… it isn’t my intention,” he whispered. With a quizzical look, I ask him why he was telling me these things, but he didn’t answer and just hugged me tight.
***
A few days before Christmas, I was lying on the hospital bed, dressed in a hospital gown and getting psyched up for the operation. I had waited for this time, but I was so scared. My family and I were hoping the operation would go smoothly.
“I can’t wait to see your face again,” I told Daniel who was sitting by my bedside, holding my hand. Sometimes, he would squeeze it as if telling me that everything would be all right. He took my right hand, and brushed his lips on it.
“I can’t wait for you to see the world as I see it,” he whispered in my ears and dropped a kiss on my forehead before I was whisked to the operating room.
It had been a week since the operation. I was able to see again, all the colors, lights, shapes, and everything around me. It was like leaving the darkness which has enveloped me the past two years, and finally dwelling in the light again.
It was Christmas. Strangely, Daniel wasn’t around when I first opened my eyes after the operation. I asked my parents, even called his house, asking if they knew where he was. But they couldn’t give me a straight answer.
I couldn’t wait to see Daniel. Maybe, he was just preparing a surprise for me. It was typical of him to do that, I thought. And I couldn’t wait to see what it was.
When the doorbell rang, I was ecstatic. I was pretty sure it would be Daniel and his family. I kissed Daniel’s parents as they entered. I looked behind them to see Daniel, but he wasn’t with them.
I peeped outside the gate, maybe he was just around somewhere. But no, he was nowhere. I looked at his parents who were standing beside my parents at the patio. Why did it seem there was sadness in their eyes?
Before I could open my mouth to ask them where Daniel was, his mother handed me a gift wrapped in silver paper with a red ribbon. When I opened it, it revealed the cashmere dress I’d always wanted. Only Daniel knew about it.
A card fell when I pulled the dress from the box. My name was scribbled on the envelope. I knew that handwriting. It was Daniel’s.
“Dear Elisha,” the letter began. “If you are reading this, then I will be very happy because it means the operation was successful. I just wish I was there to witness it, and share that special moment with you. But I won’t be there. Not because I don’t want to, but because fate won’t permit it.
“Remember that summer we spent in Baguio? You looked very lovely in that pink dress and yet you were crying because you couldn’t go out and play in the rain. It pained me to see you crying so I did everything to stop you from crying and wipe the tears away. I promised from that day I would do everything to make you happy. I would protect you and shield you. No one and nothing would hurt you, if I could help it.
“We’ve known each other since we were born. And you’re my best friend. We’ve shared everything and anything. My days are not complete without seeing you. I’m always anticipating those cute smiles and I love hearing those hearty laughs. They brighten up my days. I always wanted to be the one to put those smiles on your face and be the reason why you laugh.
“Yes, Elisha, I’ve been in love with you since that summer…” Tears started to fall. I didn’t know. I have no idea. How could I not notice it?
Don’t blame yourself. I did everything to keep it a secret. Don’t get mad. I know we promised that we shouldn’t keep any secrets from each other. I’m afraid of rejection and that you might not feel the same way and soon, I would lose even our friendship. I couldn’t take that so I kept it.
“This was hard for me, not to be there to share the milestones of your life, hold you when you’re afraid and pick you up when you stumble. But my time is up. I can’t stay much longer, even if I want to.
“Three years ago, I was diagnosed with brain cancer. It was already on its final stage. The doctors couldn’t do anything. They gave me just a year to live. I lasted for another year because of you. The thought that I would leave you alone strengthened my will to survive, if not prolong my days.
But he was already calling me. He had given me much more than I hoped for. It’s time I go back to him, and stay with Him. This is not goodbye. This is just a temporary separation. We’ll see each other again… in another time and place. Take care of my eyes. I’m sure they look lovely on you… Love, Daniel.”
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